A year ago, I'd fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. And I'd sleep through most of the night (only getting up once to potty) I'd wake 2 or 3 minutes before my alarm was set to wake me. I may have a day here or there where I felt a bit tired during the day, but I rarely felt so exhausted I was actually unhappy and depressed.
Now, it takes me 30 minutes to an hour to fall asleep. (This is what happens on a good night.) Then I'll wake up every hour to an hour and half. I'll wake to potty 2 or 3 times (or perhaps its just because I'm already awake that I notice that my bladder feels a little on the full side.) It will take me several minutes to an hour to fall back to sleep once I'm awake. When my alarm goes off in the morning I hit snooze for 30-50 minutes before I can finally drag my ass out of bed. Consequently, and rightly so, I'm exhausted all day long. Exhausted to the point that I feel depression knocking on my door.
But I want to repeat, this is on a good night. On a bad night, I can't seem to turn my brain off. The tiniest thing could upset or excite me and I won't sleep. Sometimes I can't sleep because my head hurts too bad. And of course the lack of sleep only exacerbates the condition of my head. When I finally do fall asleep around 5 AM in the morning, I wake about 2 hours later. So not even sheer exhaustion can make me sleep longer than 2 hours at a time.
But caffeine, you are my savior. Which may be unhealthy and may lead to some of the waking in the middle of the night to potty.
Everyone at work tells me I should try Ambien. They tell me how wonderful it is and how much it has helped them. They tell me it allows them to shut off their brain so that they can finally sleep. They tell me that you never have that drugged and groggy feeling in the morning. I was also told that it doesn't require 8 hours of sleep - that you can get by on just 7 and still feel wonderful in the morning.
How do I get my hands on such a wonderful product?
Remember my recent story about the doctor who asked me what I wanted him to get me? No, he didn't prescribe me Ambien - or any sleeping pill at all. (Although I kick myself that I didn't try to get some out of him!)
Well, I was relating the story to a friend of mine who's father is a doctor. And I joked with her and asked her what she could hook me up with.
"What do you want?"
"Ambien"
And that was it. Her father called in a prescription for Ambien for me.
WOW!
Now I REALLY feel a bit like a junkie! But I am sleeping (on the nights that I've dared to take it, anyway). Still waiting to feel less exhausted during the days. Maybe that will take weeks.
P.S. Cymbalta, which I've been on for nearly 2 months now - side effect is insomnia.
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